"I want to leave a trace. Some mark upon this world. Proof — visceral or intangible — that what I did here mattered. That somewhere in this grand scheme of things, I did not waste my time on this earth, that everything that was given to me was used, that every talent that I had I employed, that every last shred of my effort and my heart came to bear somewhere in something or someone. Many someones. Countless someones."
I know I've posted this quote before, but I read it tonight and it just lit a fire inside of me.
This woman is absolutely inspiring and phenomenal. If you don't already read her blog...you should start! It has had the habit of turning the moment around and turning my frown from upside down. Honestly!
I feel alive right now. In every part of my body, every bone. I am very aware of everything. I can feel my heart racing, my mind constantly thinking. I feel the minor aches and pains, and then the also not so minor. I feel. Isn't that just great?
Most of the time we walk around numb, unaware of the people, the moments, the things happening all around us. We get through our day just by going to the next thing, the next, the next, until finally you can go back to sleep, only to wake up the next day and do the same boring, unaware routine again. And for what? You aren't being challenged, you aren't learning, you aren't growing. I've come to realize you need to cry, you need to be hurt, alone, challenged. From this place, this absolute bottomless pit, do you realize all of the amazing things that surround you. If things are always peachy keen - how do we realize how fortunate our lives are? It's in the hardest of times, the most emotional wrecks, that we truely find our strengths. The things that we've been hiding for so long...they will come out. They will save you.
So wake up, wake up, wake up! Feel alive. You need to find what you love, what makes you smile, what turns you on and just do it! Get up, get out of bed, out of your routine and just be - you! Free to do what you want and be aware. We have this habit, of falling into habit - whether it's good or bad. We do a lot of things because it's 'easy' and we fall into our habits merely because the more we do them, the easier they become, the more we get used to it and we as humans, hate change. We like knowing what's going to happen next. We hate surprise. Newsflash: we need change. It is constant, it is happening, always. Don't fall into habit, fall into purposeful thinking and being. Be alive and aware for what you want and go after it.
I've come to discuss with a friend how there are two types of people in this world: The aware, and the one's who are not. We have people who walk around, unaware of other people, what they might feel, think, want. We are unattached and emotionally detached from them. It does not affect us? So why should we care, get involved, be polite...notice things.....Then there are those who are aware. Aware of others, of their feelings, of their own. The ones who are alive to everyone and everything. We want, we feel, we go after it. I hope you chose to be aware. For this world is an oftly large place to think you are the only one who matters. That mentality will only get you so far...
I woke up today feeling with purpose. That I'm going to be purposeful and aware and here today. I'm checking in. I've arrived, and this is my life. I'm going to be exciting and powerful. I will be successful and my life will be filled with endless amounts of love and happiness. I'm going to be challenged constantly, and challenge others. I know there will be up's and down's and as much as I won't realize the lessons at the time, I'm going to try and see them. I will make the best with what I'm given. I woke up today realizing I need to be aware of myself and others, that what I do matters, that the way I treat others matter. I matter. You matter. This is the truth. We need to decide to be a change for ourselves, to constantly inspire ourselves and others, always pushing forward. If we are always open to growing and learning, we can never go wrong.
Conslusion: I want to feel like what I do will matter, and it will. I want to live purposefully and find joy around every corner, and I will. I'm going to stop living from habit and more with purpose, for what I want. I'm going to go after, what I want, and - I'm going to get it!