Sunday, June 12, 2011

The first.

"Strive to be first: First to nod, first to smile, first to compliment and first to forgive."
A lot of the time we want to take the high road. We don't want to show that we are embarrassed, show that we are hurt, to show that we actually care. We never want to show our feelings. We instantly create opinions and ideas of people we meet; who they are and what kind of a relationship we will have with them. We create this idea of each and every person we meet each day. Sometimes, people aren't friendly, aren't as kind or as nice as we would want or even expect them to be. Those expectations of people? We must drop them. Sometimes, people will let us down, other times, they will completely surprise us. If we are constantly creating expectations from our own ideas, experiences and quick judgements of others, we are letting ourself get away with uncertainty and unfair behaviour. That is the thing with experiences, no moment, no memory, no experience, is ever alike. To judge a book by it's cover? We have all been told that tale time and time again since we were young. You know how it goes...

Truly, a lot of the people we meet just don't seem like very worthy people of both our time and our friendship. Maybe they're not. Maybe, they are your soul mate. Do not be quick to judge. Don't stop there, please push past the beginning. It's about seeing a deeper picture, about trying to change this world into something better, something greater. And we can. Kindness and greatness is within our own reach. It needs to start with you.
You walk into a room filled with people. A lot of the time, they will all be in deep conversation, barely acknowledging you as you walk by. You think to yourself, 'how rude', and how awkward you what? These people don't get it. You don't really get it right now. So we take the high road, we will ignore, snub back, be rude, be short. What are we going to achieve by taking this path and making these decisions? Absolutely nothing. This makes us not very friendly or fun people. We don't want to get to know anyone in this room and guess what, the attitude and energy your giving off right now? They don't want to get to know you either. So try to be friendly yourself, smile, be kind. A lot of the time, our smiles and our kindness is the only thing we need to open up all the possibilities in others. It takes only one glance of a smile to make others feel better. The power of the domino affect.

So we want to appear cool, untouched, not vulnerable. We try and take the high road. We fight with each other, we are only human. We are bound to disagree, to hurt others, to let people down. It's how we learn. It is always a bad experience that teaches us exactly what we want and exactly what we don't want for ourselves and our relationships. The thing about us? We are vulnerable. We have feelings, we have needs, dreams, goals. Sometimes, it's with the help of others that we can ever achieve any of the things we want. Other times, it's the support you don't get that proves to you you can do this on your own. With pain, comes experience. We want to be tough, angry, cool. We don't want to be the first to apologize, to admit one of us were wrong. We don't like being wrong. But in the end, someone must budge.
But the things is, we are all wrong every now and then. It's no ones faults, we can just be wrong sometimes. It happens, we are human. Through trial and error we realize the types of people we want to be. So instead of wasting your time keeping your head held high and your vulnerability on the low, offer out your hand in forgiveness. Be the first to say your sorry, even if you aren't at fault. Sometimes, saying sorry is just acknowledging that you know the argument was there, it was wrong and it wasn't worth it. Hurting each other, is not worth it.

So smile at others, be kind, be the first to say hello, goodbye, to give a compliment, to give a hug...but most of all, be the first to forgive. We waste too much of our precious time waiting. We wait for someone else to apologize, to realize, to grow up...sometimes, it never happens. So stop waiting, be the first yourself and raise that heavy weight off of your beautiful heart. These pains only weigh us down and hold us back. Be the first to make a change, to take a stand. Be the first to move forward in your own life.

"Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile."

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